You Are Responsible For Your Current Situation In Life! I’m very sure you are wondering what sort of blunt introduction this is but I have chosen to do this to drive home the point that you are indeed responsible for whatever situation you are today; maritally, financially, academically, job wise etc. You see, God is very democratic and has given us the free will to make our own choices without imposing any choice on us. The only thing He does is to reveal the pros and cons of each choice to us and leaves us to decide. Life is really full of choices and wherever you find yourself today is a result of your own making, not any other person, so, if you have been blaming other people about your situation, please stop it from today, you are solely responsible. Did you get that? I said you are 100% responsible. You slept on an empty stomach last night? It’s your own making. Year upon year has gone by and you have not been able to breakthrough financially? You are solely to blame. You are always lagging behind in your academics? You are 100% responsible, no teacher or lecturer is to be blamed for that. Check out what famous US TV personality, Oprah Winfrey says about the issue of being responsible in life: “You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving.” Are you convinced now? Your First Step towards Success Taking responsibility for your life is the first real step towards achieving any form of happiness and success. Without it, no form of achievement can be experienced. And if you read my earlier post on playing the blame game, you’ll notice I kept on mentioning the word ‘responsibility’ till the end. Now cast your mind back to memory lane. Do you think Thomas Edison would have successfully invented the long-lasting, practical electric light bulb if he didn’t take full responsibility for the over 1,000 times he failed? If he had blamed the environment or the scientific apparatus, we probably wouldn’t have the light bulb as we have it today. This is what he said when someone asked him if he was bothered about failing so many times before inventing the light bulb. “I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb” -Thomas Edison Now ask yourself: in what area of my life am I making excuses? Is it in my marriage, business, career or even my studies? Are excuses like the following common place despite the fact that you want a real change in your life? *I want to graduate with a distinction but a pass is not a bad idea since everyone in my family graduated with a pass. * I want a slimmer figure but my obesity can be excused since all my siblings are fat *I would have lived a happier life if not for my boss who chooses to pay me peanuts *My marriage would have been a heaven on earth if not for my husband who chooses to just be difficult * I would have passed my examination with good grades but for that lousy lecturer I can go on and on with the kinds of excuses we give for living a life of mediocrity but let me stop and tell you what these excuses do to you: they give you a victim mentality and this mentality is what keeps us from extraordinary achievements. When you cultivate the victim mentality, you lack the power to effect any positive change in your life because you always see other people as being responsible for your woes. And since you cannot control others and their reaction to the situation you’re complaining of, you may remain in that state for years but if you wake up and accept responsibility for your actions, you’ll regain the power to effect the desired change in your life. Each time you make excuses do you realize that you’re pointing just one finger at the accused but pointing the other four at yourself? This means that you’re four times more responsible for what you’re accusing the person of. The earlier you therefore accept that nothing will change until you hold yourself accountable, the better for you. So, snap out of the victim mentality. Eliminate all limiting thoughts that begin with ‘I can’t’. Get rid of them and replace them with thoughts that begin with ‘I can’. In my own life, I have seen huge results from taking responsibility and I believe you can too but you’ve got to commit to taking responsibility for your life and actions. This essentially means accepting that your current situation in life is the result of your past choices while your future depends on the choices you make today. Accepting this fact puts you in a better position to make the right choices, knowing you’ll be accountable at the end of the day. Steps to Take Responsibility for Your Life * Get out of the fixed mindset and adopt a growth mindset. See possibilities instead of limitations. Get rid of limiting beliefs and thoughts like ‘no one in my family has ever attained that post; I don’t think I can achieve it.’ This is self defeating and will pull your self-esteem down. One sure way to adopt a growth mindset is to substitute every negative though that hits your mind with a positive thought. Do this one thought at a time and it’ll become part of you sooner than you expect. * In which area of my life do I need help the most? Is it with my finances, weight, marriage, etc? * Realize and believe that change is possible. No matter how long your challenge has been with you, just know that you can effect a change. *Accept responsibility and affirm to yourself; “I’m 100% responsible for my weight. My family background has nothing to do with it and I choose to be slim” Say this repeatedly and mean it from the bottom of your heart. This energizes you to go for your dreams! * What do I need to do to be responsible for my weight? Write them down as points with the first thing to be done leading the list. 1. I’ve got to watch what I eat. 2. I’ve got to exercise daily. 3. I’ve got to have an accountability partner and so many others If your problem is not weight, list the things you’ll need to do to have a happy marriage, fruitful career, or profitable business. I just used the issue of weight as an example. * Act on the list you wrote. Pick the items one-by-one and start acting on them. You see, nothing happens in this life until we move. While acting on your points, you’ll suddenly gain a huge boost in your self esteem and if any of the actions don’t work as envisaged, change your approach, you’ll certainly get there. Benefits of Taking Responsibility * It makes you mature. You no longer think or act like a baby. You become a mature man or woman who knows the power of success lies in his or her hand. * Once you accept total responsibility for every decision you make and every action you take, there is no mountain you cannot climb, you’ll virtually become unstoppable. * You’ll be more in control of your life. The level of responsibility you take in your life determines the level of control you’ll have on your life. * You’ll be able to set goals and achieve them. Accepting responsibility for your life precedes goal setting. If you set goals without initially holding yourself accountable for whatever is happening to you, you won’t be able to achieve the goals. * Negative emotions like annoyance, distrust, resentment and apprehension (that are strongly connected to the habit of blaming others) would be a thing of past in your life. They’ll no longer have a place in your life because accepting responsibility for your life calms your mind and illuminates your vision.